Trading the Life I Once Lived
As my husband and I chatted with friends at a holiday party late last year, I wondered if we were the only ones there with a child. It turns out that we were. All night people complimented us on how great it was that we went out to have fun, and how sweet our baby was to be sleeping in a back room in her pack n’ play.
As I chowed down on my turkey and pumpkin pie, I became aware that my life is so drastically different than it once was. My nights now categorized by books and a pillow was traded in for a glimpse back at a life I had all but forgotten. A life where I went to parties to meet people and make memories with friends. I remembered a sense of misplaced identity as my own striving heart tried to impress others to gain their approval. I suddenly became aware that somewhere along the road of this first year of motherhood, I had lost a bit of the edge that made me clamor for the approval of others.
The thought of crashing into bed after a long day of baby wrangling, diaper changing, working and caring for others sounds absolutely marvelous. Our culture that says children should only be had after “you enjoy your youth/married life/career,” lies to our souls that we are ultimately in control and diminishes the God-given image in each new human being. Of course this season is hard, one of the hardest of my life, but it is a good season. A heritage from the Lord.